Friday, May 7, 2010

court update

thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement yesterday via text, facebook, etc. we definitely needed them and appreciate you lifting us up!

yesterday was everything that we expected, and at the same time, not what we expected at all!

in short, the boys are still going back to their surprise there. P's dad did not show up for court and will continue to have a no-contact order with P and has a bench warrant out for his arrest...also, no surprise there! however, much to our surprise, the social workers recommended that the boys' mom begin getting unsupervised visits with them, starting immediately.*

*this recommendation was pretty much a punch in the gut to ryan and i. less than 3 weeks ago the boys' worker told us that their mom was not ready for unsupervised visits and that they would not be recommending that to the court yet. thankfully though, we were given some warning about this news before we were called back to the courtroom! the supervisor on the case came over and spoke to us in the waiting area about the change while R was talking with his GAL {guardian ad litem}.

after hearing this news I was reminded of how glad i am {at times!} that my sweet husband has a gift for not beating around the bush! after the supervisor told us this news ryan quickly asked how they were able to totally change their minds in 3 weeks time. he said that he was confused on how she could all the sudden become prepared enough to have her children in an unsupervised environment in a matter of 3 weeks. {shoot, we've been "parents" for 8 months now, and we're still trying to prepare ourselves!!} we didn't get much of an answer, except that their mom has been doing well in her treatment and was on time for all her appointments. she said that the unsupervised visits would start off slow, and as the boys' mom earned trust, she would get more time with them. since there was nothing we could really say or do to change their minds, we left it at that and headed into the courtroom.

at the GAL's recommendation and to our relief, R did not actually sit in the courtroom for the hearing. ryan stayed with him in a side room throughout the trial and i sat in the courtroom by myself. since P's dad did not show up, the trial went much quicker than expected. also, much to our relief, R did not have to testify!! this was a huge answer to our prayers. they took his mom's testimony and the SW's testimony instead of him having to take the stand. i learned a few new things about the case while in court, but overall, it was pretty pointless for us to even be there. the judge accepted the SW's recommendation for the unsupervised visits with mom without any discussion about it. a date has not been set for the case review yet because the SWs want to wait and see how the rest of her therapy goes. {the case review will be when they officially release the boys back into their mom's care.}

after the trial, we were punched in the gut one last time when the SW said that in lieu of their scheduled 2 hour supervised visit at the visitation center following court, that she wanted to begin the 4 HOUR unsupervised visit right away. {so much for starting the unsupervised visits off slow!} R left the courthouse with his mom while ryan and i left alone...i guess it's just practice for the next time we go to court! P was at our house with my mom so we had to run home, get him ready and take him to mcdonalds to meet up with his mom and R so she could visit with P as well. during the visit time, ryan and i were both in a weird state of numbness/helplessness but we were also thankful for the time we could spend alone to process what just happened. we didn't agree with what happened at court but we couldn't really protest it or do anything about it either. we knew this was most likely going to happen eventually, but we were hoping eventually was still a far way off! plus, it's a hard to transition so quickly from taking the boys to a facility where sheriffs are on duty for security and every word and action is being monitored to just letting their mom take off with them wherever she wants.

anyways, it was a draining and hard day, but we know that our God is still good and is still in control! wednesday night, ryan and i read psalm 136 together and we are trying to hold on to the same attitude as reflected in the psalm. the whole chapter talks about giving praise to God because "His love endures forever". we know that our love for the boys is far, far, far exceeded by God's love for them and we're praying that He will continue to keep them close to Himself no matter where they live and who they call "mom".

  • "To the One who remembered us in our low estate 'His love endures forever." -Psalm 136:23


jody said...

what an exhausting day for you and Ryan! Your faith encourages me as I read you processing out loud here in your blog. In my mind, this is where we see faith in action - not at all understanding the situation but trusting that God is sovereign - ALWAYS. Its so hard sometimes... Love from here!