Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
this has been a pretty typical week for us - 1) busy. 2) ryan out of town for work again.
i'm getting very used to life this way, and i'm actually having a hard time thinking about what life will be like once the boys are gone and once ryan stop traveling so much. especially once the boys are gone...i think our house will be too quiet, too clean and too boring. not looking forward to it!
anyways, we're gearing up for another action-packed weekend! tonight ryan will get home just in time for me to scoot over to a get together for women from our church. tomorrow, R will be presenting his science fair project at regionals all day long, while ryan and i attend an adoption seminar. after the seminar, we will pick up P from my in-laws' and go to the public viewing and awards for the science fair. after that, we're off to dinner and then home to relax for the rest of the evening. who know's, maybe we'll even get to finally watch a blu-ray movie on ryan's long-awaited blu-ray player?!? sunday, we have church and possible lunch with our small group and the haitian refugee family our group has "adopted". after lunch, it's off to my youngest niece, mikenna's 6th b-day party at a gymnastics place.
should be a fun weekend!! hope your's is too :)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
ryan and i have a long standing joke about "being an emotional basket case". i'm not even sure exactly when it started, but i'm thinking it was either our senior year of high school or freshman year of college. you see, at the time i was one of those mean girlfriends who forced their boyfriends to watch bad reality tv. (*oh wait, i think i still do that even though we're married...hmmm.)
anyway, we were just wrapping up an episode of "the bachelor" when the exit interview of one of the rejected girls became the source of our running inside joke. the girl had not been picked and was very distraught about it. (*side bar for all you fellow bachelor watchers - it was not down to the last 5 girls or anything...i think it was only the second show of the season). so, this girl proceeds to gush to the cameras about her heart break, and mid-sob says, "i just want another chance to prove that i'm not an emotional basket case".
ryan and i both immediately died laughing. not so much at this poor rejected woman, but more at the irony of her statement. needless to say, this phrase lives on in our lives!! there have been countless occurrences over the last several years where mid-sob or post-sob, either ryan or i will repeat this lovely phrase to each other. it's become our way of telling the other person that it's ok to cry the ugly-cry from time to time :)
well, i've been having several public and private ugly-cries lately. i'm just feeling really torn lately about the boys heading back to their mom in the next few months. sometimes i think about what a relief it will be like to have my "normal life" back, but then a few seconds later, i remember that this is normal life now. i also have a hard time thinking about the boys' mom and knowing what to feel. at times i feel encouraged to see her trying and i think that she really could be different this time around. however, then other times i think about the basics that she didn't provide for R and wonder why P has to endure those same experiences too.
also, ryan and i have been doing a lot of praying and pleading with God lately about where to go from here. after experiencing the emotions of fostering firsthand for the last 6 months both ryan and i agree that we need to take a much needed break from fostering for a while. now, that's not to say that after some time passes and our hearts mend a little that we won't dive back into fostering again (*because according to albert einstein, we're just insane like that - "insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"). however, we just need a break. i cannot describe the pressure of living under the constant thumb of "the system". it is truly enough to drive someone insane at times!
at the same time though, we still want to have a family and we still feel called to begin our family through adoption!! and no, we do not have any infertility problems that we're aware of. and yes, we do know that it would probably be much cheaper and less painstaking to have a birth child. we completely understand and have heard these point of views (*quite a few times actually) but that does not change the fact that our hearts are telling us to take a different path. we know that adoption is not God's plan for everyone, but we do believe that it is His plan for us. until we hear/feel differently from Him, we want to continue to pursue adoption. so, where to from here God? that's what we're trying to figure out now.
anyways, please excuse my emotional unload today but i've just been processing through a lot of stuff lately. in no way do i want to discourage anyone from fostering, but i do want to relay the reality of the hardships that come along with it. it's not for the faint of heart, and i know that without the Lord's guidance and strength throughout this process, you'd have to visit me in the looney bin to find out what's new in my life instead of this blog :)
all this to really say... i just really want another chance to prove that i'm not an emotional basket case!!!
Monday, March 8, 2010
here are some pictures from P's first trip to the barber shop a few weekends ago:
Monday, March 1, 2010
we had a great but busy weekend. i was hoping to blog some, but that just didn't happen! so here's how our weekend went:
late friday night, ryan returned from a week long business trip, and boy was i glad :) i don't like him being gone that long but it was especially hard because last week was his 7th consecutive week being gone for work. usually he's only gone 2 nights at a time, but it still stinks! it's funny though because i used to be soooo scared to be home alone and now i don't even think about it any more. everyone told me that having kids in the house would help but i didn't really believe them until now. it really does help!!
saturday morning, i went bridesmaids' dress shopping for my friend eabs' upcoming july wedding. she picked out a beautiful dress for us and we got them ordered since we're in a bit of a time crunch. afterwards, we went and grabbed a quick lunch together and got to talk design details for the wedding. it's going to be fabulous and i'm super excited for elizabeth! it also made me totally want to get married all over again...(*to the same guy, of course!*) i loved wedding planning but i wish i would have had more time to put into it. unfortunately, at the time i was taking 18 hours of class so i could graduate early and working 25 hours/week. there just weren't enough hours in the day!
after lunch, i met my boys at the barber shop for a much needed triple hair cut. yes, i said triple hair cut...ryan, R and little P included! sweet P really doesn't have too much hair in front, but the back was starting to look like a bad cross between a rat tail and a mullet, so i couldn't take it much longer. i of course snapped a ton of pictures and got to keep some of P's hair for his life book. if i can get around to it, i'll post some pictures from his big day!
later saturday night, we were supposed to go bowling with my family to celebrate ryan's birthday but we couldn't get in at any bowling alleys that didn't have at least an hour wait. who knew bowling alleys are such a popular saturday night hang out? we finally gave up on the bowling idea and just went somewhere for dinner where he opened presents and had cake. ryan was super pumped because he got another gift certificate to a local golf shop, so i'm sure i'm in for a looooong golf season this year!
sunday, we went to church and had a low key afternoon. i have been a huge crafting kick lately so i spent most of the afternoon working on various sewing projects before rushing off to a meeting at church. after the meeting at church, i joined the boys at ryan's parents' house for his birthday celebration with them. ryan's mom made her delicious baked spaghetti that ryan requested and we got to hang out and celebrate with them for awhile. ryan's parents gave him the long awaited blu ray player he's been asking for forever. it will stream netflix movies directly to the player, so ryan's under the impression that we're going to be watching movies all the time now...i guess we'll wait and see. we don't exactly love the same type of movies so it sounds like i'll just be doing a lot more sleeping on the couch while ryan's watching movies :)
all in all, it was a great weekend. i love just spending quality time with my guys, and got the added bonus of our extended families too!