Tuesday, May 25, 2010


{warning...this will be a grumpy post. if you would like to skip over it, please feel free!!}

today i am more than frustrated with the foster system. once again, i feel like it is slowly, yet systematically failing our kids and it makes me mad. here we are just 1 week shy of school being out for the summer, and i get notified a few days ago that the state has denied our request for summer child care for R. hmmm...ok, thanks for letting me know now! argh.

because R will be turning 14 in july, the state says that they will not cover child care for him because he should be allowed to stay home alone. unfortunately, they must not know our almost 14 year old. while he physically looks his age (or maybe even older), the truth is, he is just not mentally that age at all! i believe that the average 14 year is going into their freshman year of high school, while R is only going into his 7th grade year. also, because of past incidences involving lying and stealing, we would not be able to leave him unsupervised in our house.

now, i want to be clear that i'm not trying to down R by saying any of this stuff. he is in no way responsible for being behind in school or immature for his age. that is a result of the difficult circumstances he has grown up in. however, it infuriates me that the state is throwing a blanket statement on their age requirements for child care. i mean, the program he's in now for after school care and that he would be in for the summer has a cut off at age 14, but they are making an exception for him because of his grade level and circumstances. i just cannot understand while the state cannot do the same for it's own kids!! afterall, they know better than anyone else the life he's lived and the reasons why ryan and i would never leave him home alone this summer. i just don't get it!! plus, please excuse me if i would prefer for R to get some social interaction this summer rather than just plopping himself down to play video games!

ryan and i have put in an appeal with the state and are hoping to get some answers. we are trying to advocate as best as we can for these boys but sometimes it feels like we're just beating our heads against a wall. anyways, i'll let y'all know the outcome whenever things get settled. we're praying for some understanding and compassion towards our situation but that could be a long shot...

anyways, enough complaining from me. i'll step down from my angry soapbox now! :)


Lisa said...

I feel ya! Everyone always says they couldn't be a foster parent because of the kids going home or dealing with the families.. and while those can be hard, it's the system that was and has been the worst for me to deal with! SO FRUSTRATING! Good luck! Can your agency help at all?