Monday, February 22, 2010


on february 4th there was a court date for the boys. ryan and i knew about it for several weeks before but we were pretty strongly advised not to attend by the boys' SW. she said that it was not necessary for us to be there and that if we needed to know anything, she would tell us. even though we didn't buy that at all, it just so happened that ryan was out of town that day any way and i did not want to go alone, so we didn't attend.

i'm still not 100% sure exactly what went on but the latest we've heard is that they did not really make any major decisions that day. we heard that the boys' mom pleaded guilty to the charges against her, but we're not really sure what those charges actually are...possibly neglect but definitely something drug related? i dunno for sure. however, baby P's dad has decided not to plead but instead wants a full trial. (*now i cannot even begin to tell how stupid this decision is but let's just say, that it's REALLY stupid! P's dad has not made any progress on his case plan at all since we've had the boys. he's repeatedly missed visits with P, been put back in jail for violating his no contact order with the boys' mom, refused drug tests and quit drug rehab. the deck is definitely stacked against him.*)

so, with that said, the judge decided to revoke P's dad's visitation for right now. the judge delayed the next court day until May 6th, and at that time, P's dad can requests his visits again. also at that court day, the SW will recommend the next step in reunifying this family. my guess, (*and this is a complete guess*) is that R and P will probably be returned to their mom sometime in the late summer, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see.

in the meantime, the SW has decided to allow the boy's mom the extra hour of visitation that P's dad is no longer allowed, so her visits are going to be increased to 2 hours/week. i cannot really explain it, but somehow, upon finding out about this, i had a sense of peace. our prayer throughout the last several weeks has been for God to prepare our hearts for what He has in store. while we don't know exactly what that is yet, i think both ryan and i have a sense that mostly it will be us letting the boys go. with that in mind, we (*probably ryan more so than me*) are trying to keep a positive attitude about the boys' mom and to prayerfully think about ways we can begin building a relationship with her. we know that in the future she will be the gateway to maintaining a relationship with R and P, and will also be the one raising and guiding them. we would love nothing more than to see her come to know Jesus through this process, and want to be mindful of if/how the Lord is calling us to be a part of that process.

mostly though, we're just soaking up the moments with "our" boys. we're trying not to take any laugh, smile or game of uno for granted. *even the moments when we both want to scream :)*