Tuesday, August 17, 2010

doom and gloom girl

ok, so i feel like i'm beginning to sound a little like "doom and gloom girl" on here. i'm sorry if i've been excessively melodramatic lately in my posts, but truth be told, that's a little of how i'm feeling lately. it just seems that many things are not quite going as planned or expected for me lately...which i guess by now should be the expected!! between my trip to afghanistan and the tragedy that happened while i was in the country, the ceiling in one of our bedrooms and living room having to be torn out from water damage, not getting a referral for our ethiopian kiddo yet, my unexpected trip to the hospital {i'm still here, btw}, and the news ryan received at our home visit today for the boys**, i'm really am just feeling a little overwhelmed and spent.

**sidebar: the boys will be beginning overnight visits with their mom. the SW wanted to start this friday but my dear husband kindly informed the SW that she would have to keep dreaming. he told her that he wasn't going to rock the boat this week after things have already been so chaotic with me being in the hospital and school starting back today. to say that i'm a bit shocked/disappointed with the timing of all this is a bit of an understatement. without disclosing too much, we've just had a frustrating few weeks with the boys' mom and the care they've been receiving while at her house. {i guess that's not really new, huh?} unfortunately, our concerns are obviously not shared by the ones who are supposed to be in charge of the boys' best interest though... so, starting next friday the boys will be heading to their moms on fridays after i get off work and will be returned to us saturday night. poor ryan had to be the bearer of the bad news to me today since i couldn't be at the home visit and i think it liked to kill him. he tried to encourage me to look at it as positive because we now have an extra date night and an opportunity to sleep in late on saturdays again. i tried to appreciate his point of view but i know him well enough to figure out that he's still trying to convince himself of the positive side too. {see, there i go again. more doom and gloom...ah!}

anyways, i say all of this because i really feel like the devil is on the prowl in my life more than usual and i hate that. i really wish he'd GO AWAY but at the same time, i'm glad i'm actually on his radar. i hope that means that my life is messing with his preferred path of destruction!

as all these things keep adding up, i can't help but to reflect on a blog post i read a week or so ago by missy at it's almost naptime {cutest blog name ever, huh?}. you can read it for yourself here but she is basically talking about the devil's spiritual attacks against adopting couples. she points out that satan would love nothing more than to destroy the living portrait of the Gospel that adoptions paint, and i completely concur.

in the spirit of letting the devil know that he's not going to steal my thunder, not now and not ever, i would like to state publicly that come hell or high water, our family will continue to serve the Lord as He calls through foster care and adoption. no, i can't begin to guess what that will look like in the future, nor do i think that it will always be easy. however, i do know that we've seen and heard everything that we know on foster care and adoption for a reason and i'm not ready to forsake that purpose any time soon.

so, just to wrap up, if you're an adoptive/adopting family, please read missy's blog post. if you know a family in the process of adopting or that's already adopted, please pray specifically for them to be armed and ready for the devil's attacks, frustration, trickery and manipulation. thanks :)

"let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God" - isaiah 51:10a

{ps - as a complete first for our little macbook - my computer completely froze and i had to do a hard restart while typing this post...sorry, satan! it's still getting posted :)}


Lisa said...

Hey Lesli, I'm so sorry it all seems to be crashing down right now. I am praying for you! If you aren't, be sure to be documenting everything right now about the boys. yes, they may end up going home regardless, but if things really are rocky, you will want to be documenting everything... times of drop off, pick up, condition of the boys upon drop off and pick up, what you see or hear from mom and boys at these times, etc. Literally everything. I've just seen too much. It can go downhill very quickly, hopefully for you all it won't, but trust me and if you aren't documenting ... start. And good luck with everything! Such a rough time!

summer said...

just gotta say...you go girl!! i just found your blog tonight and i love what i see!! you just put your foot down and say, "satan, get the behind me"! i also L_O_V_E that you type like i do. i HATE capitalizing...slows me so down.
keep the faith!!
summer @

JT and Natalie said...

Lesli~ We are in your corner. Praying for you and your health and your boys....all three of them. IT was great to see Ryan and P Sunday at the airport

lesli said...

thanks y'all!! i'm just now seeing your comments {not sure why, i'm slow i guess} and i seriously want to cry. thanks for standing in our corner and backing us up :)