Tuesday, April 20, 2010

*foster care update*

first, let me just apologize for neglecting my blog so badly lately. i guess it's spring fever or something but i just haven't been in the blogging mood. hmmm...maybe it's the mile high stack of paperwork i've got going for our adoption too?? i dunno, but i do apologize.

so, since it's been so long, i feel like you all are due for an update on our little corner of the world. i'll start with a foster care update and if i'm feeling frisky, maybe i'll tackle an adoption update tomorrow :)

what's new with the boys, huh? well, we had a home visit last week with our SW and the boys' SW. it was our last scheduled home visit before their case goes back to court on may 6th. we (well, mostly just me) were worried about this being the last visit before court because we thought the SW may be coming to tell us that she was recommending the boys for return to their mom at court. however, after a surprisingly pleasant visit with their SW, she informed us of quite the opposite. she said that because of some continued bad choices in the area of personal relationships, she would not be recommending that the boys' mom receive the kids back yet. she even went a step further and said that she would even be recommending that their mom not even get unsupervised visits yet. keep in mind though, the goal of the case is still "family reunification", NOT adoption so it is still on everyone's radar screen to send the boys back to their mom, just maybe not as quickly as we thought.

in the past, the boys' SW has recommended that we not attend court, but after a little more questioning by ryan, she agreed that it would be fine with her if we were there on may 6. apparently she expects the session to last around 3 hours so hopefully we'll gain a lot more insight during that time, especially regarding the state's outlook on the case. while i'm not thrilled to be sitting across the courtroom from P's dad, we have to get information when we can so we're going!

speaking of him, we haven't heard much on P's dad lately. it seems that he's totally off program and has no interest in working his case plan. he did attend one drug screening in the last few months but left when they told him that it would be supervised. please understand that this is the same man who previously used other people's urine to pass drug screens so i'm not sure why he thought he'd be allowed an unsupervised screen, but obviously he's not the brightest crayon in the box! it breaks my heart to look at sweet, mischievous, loving little P and think of all his dad is missing out on!! it's definitely his dad's loss...

so, here we are over 7 months in to this journey, and absolutely in love with these boys! sure, we have had our fair amount of trials and struggles, especially with R, but that is to be expected. he's 13 for heaven's sake and i don't think there are many parents of teens that can say they've had absolutely no problems. (if so, where are they? can they give us some parenting advice because we need it!!) however, any struggles we've had to this point do not negate the fact that we love the boys and want the best for them...which at this point, we still feel like is with us.

i guess we'll just continue to play the "wait and see" game. our state's laws say that after a child has been in foster care for 15 out of 22 months, they have to move to change the goal (aka- from "reunification" to "adoption"). we're at the half way mark now but so much can change quickly! all we know, is that we're in it for the long haul...however long that is! we're making it right now in this weird and wonderful world of foster parenting and we know that if it is God's plan to add R & P to our family permanently, He will provide for us then just as He is doing now.

that's all for now folks! check back tomorrow for another update and be impressed if i've actually done it :)