i'm still here - alive and well. sorry for the "mumness" in the blogosphere lately! i just haven't felt like i had much to say that was update worthy so rather than bore y'all, i just kept mum.
oh, and speaking of mums...i planted my first one of the season yesterday because fall has finally made it to kentucky! i must say that fall is my absolute favorite season so i'm truly looking forward to seeing lots of changing leaves and cooler breezes. i'm also hoping that this new season may bring a new season for ryan and i as well, and that it may be the time God has already ordained for us to become parents. i guess we'll see :)
however, even though i know i am constantly blabbing about how hard it is to wait for a placement and how impatient i am, i can honestly say that i have felt something changing in my heart recently. after ryan spoke with our SW last week and she said that we shouldn't expect more calls any time soon, that really changed things for me. i found myself a lot less anxious and obsessed with thinking about how much longer. instead, i have really been trying to focus on what God would have ryan and i to do to serve Him while we wait. i have been praying for weeks for my anxiety to subside and for my focus to be less on the waiting process and more on Him, and i know He has heard my prayers!!
just yesterday i received a sweet message from a friend's mom with some encouragement about waiting. it was an excerpt from the devotional book, A Shelter in the Time of Storm, by Paul David Tripp. the devotion talks about how faithfully abraham waited on God for his wife sarah to bear the child God had promised them. they didn't just wait for weeks and months like ryan and i have been, but they waited for years, YEARS!! i just can't imagine! and instead of abraham's faith wavering, him growing fearful, and becoming distrusting of God during that time, his faith increased! Romans 4:19-21 says:
"without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of sarah's womb; yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform."
wow! that definitely convicts me. i have found myself over the past few months focusing more on the placement call that we are waiting for than on our Sovereign God who gave us the call in the first place to begin our family through foster care and adoption. my favorite part of the devotion says:
"while it is true that abraham considered the facts, they weren't the focus of his meditation. no, his focus was on the God who had made this promise. every day abraham would get up and remind himself that the God who had made the promises on which he was waiting was absolutely able to deliver them. the God who made heaven and earth would have no trouble causing an old woman to deliver a promised child! abraham didn't fill his mind with his own weakness and the seeming futility of the situation. no, he filled his mind again and again with the glory of God's immeasurable power, and as he did, he grew stronger and stronger in faith."
i hope that as we move forward into this new fall season, i would be able to emulate abraham's attitude towards waiting for his promised child. i know that our God has called us to serve Him through serving children in the foster care system, so i know that He will be faithful to bring us the right child(ren) in His perfect timing!