Tuesday, November 3, 2009

the skinny on R

so since there's just a whole lot of craziness going on in our lives right now, i thought i'd give a little breakdown about each of the boys and how things are going. however, i've got about 3 weeks worth of stuff to unload, so i'll just update you one boy at a time.

*first things first...here's the skinny on R:
R is doing well in our home and seems to be adjusting alright. i know he is still pretty homesick (even though he'd never admit it!) and often mentions his mom or middle brother, C, who lives with his aunt. we try to encourage him to talk about them as often as he likes and also try to keep an upbeat attitude about their future together. C is having his 12th birthday next week and R has asked if it will be possible for him to see him or celebrate with him. when he asked, i told him that we would check with his worker and see what we can work out, but it's probably unlikely. C lives over an hour from us, so if anything, we may be able to set-up some type of supervised visit here for the boys to get together, but i'm not sure.

R has only talked with his mom 1 time since she went into rehab early last week. she couldn't take her cell phone with her (*no real surprise there), so she has been calling him intermittently when she can but they hadn't been able to connect until this sunday afternoon. they didn't talk about much but she did tell him that rehab was going alright and managed to promise him to try to be at his first b-ball game monday night, only to not show up (*also, no surprise there!) it breaks my heart to think that he kinda got his hopes up that she might show, even though it was never really even a possibility. while i want her to get healthy and to improve herself so she can give these boys the home and family they deserve, empty promises this soon into the game make me more than a little frustrated!

while we have had a few small issues with R in our home so far, mainly telling "white lies" and disobedience, R seems to like living with us and is respectful of ryan and i. we had a family meeting early on and laid out the rules and expectations of our household, and he seems to be following most of them pretty well. however, the lack of training as far as manners is pretty obvious. i can't tell you how many doors i've had slam in my face over the last 3 weeks (while holding baby p's heavy car seat, none the less) but we're working on it! we've still got a long way to go on many of these issues but each day we're seeing some type of improvement. his grades in school have been less than stellar so far this year, but after meeting with his teachers and stressing to him the importance of homework, we have seen some improvements already. today is the last day of his 2nd term for the school year and he has already brought all of his grades up at least one letter grade since we got him on the 16th. hopefully, with a clean slate for grades beginning next week, he will have all A's and B's soon, because he's definitely smart enough!

R is playing on his school's 6th grade b-ball team, and ryan has been helping coach. it's a great way for them to spend some quality time together and for R to see that we really care about him and are interested in what he has going on in life. his team won their first game monday night by 20 points, and it was awesome to see him excited about the win!! it was also funny to see him - at 5'11" tall, playing with and against other 6th grade boys...most of whom were probably under 5' tall! he loves playing board games and card games too, so we have spent many hours around the coffee table playing phase 10 or uno. he also loves video games (*what teenage boy doesn't?) but we're trying to limit his time playing those...even though i'm sure ryan doesn't mind finally having a video game partner now!

the hardest part of having the boys in our home, and specifically R, is just making all of our schedules coincide. R has lots of required appointments - some of which are weekly, so i am so thankful for our great family support and a flexible job. i seriously don't think we could do this without those 2 things!! also, prayer has been HUGE for us. there have been many nights that both ryan and i have felt discouraged and defeated, but the Lord is so good and He has been so gracious to us! while this is definitely not how ryan and i thought our first foster-to-adopt placement would look, we both know that the boys are with us for a reason and we are trying to be faithful to our calling. we want these boys to know what unconditional love feels like, and we want them to know the One who can love them more than any one else possibly can!

well, that's all the update i have to give for now! however, i will leave you with a verse that is ringing particularly true for me right now and i hope it encourages you today!:
*"many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." -proverbs 19:21


Bethany Meacham said...

Thanks for the update! We are praying for you & Ryan and the little guys that God has entrusted you to care for. It sounds like you're already off to a great start! And you're right.. God has placed them with you for a reason, even though its not exactly what you were expecting for your 1st placement! We love you guys!