dear fenway and yawkey,
just because your father's away, does not mean you can do whatever you want and think you are going to get away with it. in case you forgot, it is a privilege to sleep on the floor in our room at night, not something we OWE you. with that said, it is NOT OK to wake up every hour on the hour to sniff each other, bark at imaginary things, and whine to get in bed with me. it is DEFINITELY NOT OK to slyly rip open the old comfort i've put on the floor for you to lay on and to proceed to choke on the stuffing just to get my attention. at 4:30 a.m. this is not cute, no matter how much white fluff is all over you. your father will be returning tonight, and there will be consequences.