Monday, January 26, 2009

feels like a monday!

phew, it was a long day at work today! we were trying to get all our year-end tax donation letters out and were having some difficulty with a software program we use for fundraising. needless to say, i felt like banging my head against the computer at one point, but finally got it all worked out!!! the letters are now printed and ready to be mailed out to all our faithful donors hallelujah!!

anyways, on top of all my computer drama today, i am worrying over baby sam today. my sister is back in court about custody and the continuing saga of trying to make him a part of our family forever. i can't believe that he's 5 months old already, and even more, i can't imagine giving him back now!!!! his mom is making progress and is supposedly off drugs and got a job at a local factory - however, i'm still not convinced that she has the life skills or parenting skills to really take care of 2 little boys under 2. i am just praying that if she does get them back, then she will have truly changed and be ready to raise them in a loving home. i just can't bear the thought that they (sam especially since my sister's family has raised him since he was 5 days old!) would go from the loving home environments they are in now to something not even remotely close. sam just has such a sweet spirit and is really coming into his own personality, and i don't want to miss out on seeing how he changes as he grows!

i guess this whole saga is one of the major black clouds hanging over my thoughts about pursuing foster care adoption. while it is really the avenue ryan and i feel like God are calling us to right now, seeing what baby sam and my sister/clan have been going through makes me anxious to say the least. i guess i just have to keep reminding myself (and ryan has to remind me too!) that adopting a child into our home has been a calling from God, not only our plan, so He will perfect it!!! i know that doesn't mean the way will be easy, but i do know that ultimately He will see us through.

ok, well i'm off to do a little jazzercise with 15 strangers of my closest friends. hope you have a lovely evening!!